By Jennifer Iannolo

Jennifer Iannolo is the Founder & CEO of Zenfully Delicious, an international project created to empower women with fibromyalgia to manage their conditions powerfully — and with a sense of indulgent wellness. As a food and wine expert, she was recently featured in the documentary “Eat, Cook, Love,” and her culinary adventures can be found on her award-nominated food and travel site, The Gilded Fork. She is also the auntie to 17 nieces and nephews, whom she refers to as her Rent-a-Kids.

For Family Wellness Month, we are sharing this article on what Aunties can do to support to the entire family.
 
With chronic illness on the rise, wellness is becoming much more of a family conversation than ever before. This is important news for Aunties, because we can offer a pivotal support role in supporting our Rent-a-Kids and their parents.
 
In 2005 the Center for Disease Control’s National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion released a study that found 133 million Americans with a chronic disease. That’s almost 1 in 2, darlings. In 2008, another study showed an 18% increase in food allergies from 1997-2007, most of which are occurring in young children.
 
The greatest challenge in coping with chronic illnesses, in most cases, is three-fold, as they are often (1) incurable; (2) non-fatal; and (3) debilitating. Now, number 2 might look fabulous, but the harsh truth is that a life filled with chronic pain or potential body reactions can be exhausting on the psyche. These illnesses, from diabetes to rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia, can severely compromise one’s quality of life. An effective approach, therefore, can be to manage the whole lifestyle and embrace the ideal of wellness. In a family setting, that means creating a group effort.
 
Chronic illnesses can disrupt a family’s group dynamic on a daily basis. If someone has a peanut allergy, for example, that affects what foods come into the house, what snacks go to school, how things are ordered in a restaurant, what gets shared and not during family movie time. It can seem like the constant focus is on the person with the allergy, because one mistake can be a matter of life and death. This can have a cascading effect on the other sibling(s) in the house, who might be feeling invisible.
 
When a parent is the one with the illness, there can be an even greater impact. Children rely on their parents to be a pillar of strength, and it can be very frightening if a parent is suddenly debilitated. If Mom has fibromyalgia, she might have days where she can’t get out of bed. Her pain might be too much to take on getting children to school, or going on field trips. If Dad has arthritis, he might not be able to toss around that baseball or go sledding.
 
Here’s where Auntie can become a lifeline.
 
For the children, Auntie can be that set of ears when it feels like no one else understands. If you have a niece whose sibling has a severe food allergy, for example, she might need a day focused on her, where she can be the queen and eat all the things she isn’t allowed to have at home. (Be sure to take the appropriate precautions before returning her home!) Or she might need someone to practice with her for softball tryouts, but Dad’s arthritis is acting up. You get to be the superhero who makes sure she knows how to field a grounder.
 
For the parents, Auntie can be a relief pitcher, a sister in arms and the support system that ensures everything is managed. It is very intense to manage a child’s food allergy, with an Epi pen always at the ready in case someone doesn’t pay attention. Over time the constant vigilance can wear away at a parent’s peace of mind, so here’s your opportunity to give Mom and Dad a day off. Do your homework (you probably did already) and enlist them in letting you take the reins once in a while. Or if they just need to talk and blow off steam, be that set of ears. If Mom really does need to stay in bed today, maybe you can take on that parent-teacher conference for her.
 
On a broader level, Auntie can even be the source of additional research. I can say from experience that staying up on all the latest fibromyalgia research is exhausting, and I’d love to have someone who could debrief me once in a while! You could create a simple Google Doc where you track and summarize the latest research, interesting articles or other tidbits, and the family can read them on a regular basis.
 
If the prospect of any or all of this seems daunting, remember that there are lots of organizations offering excellent information to train families. One of the best comes from the National Foundation for Celiac Awareness. This year for Celiac Awareness Month their theme is “Fueling the Family”, which offers a complete toolkit for managing celiac disease. They are just one example; conduct a search for the main sites dedicated to your loved one’s chronic illness and educate yourself as much as possible. I’ve included the most prevalent examples below.
 
They’re counting on you, Auntie — and they love that they can.
 
Additional resources:
 
Food Allergies: http://www.foodallergy.org/
Diabetes: http://www.diabetes.org/
Chronic Pain: http://www.theacpa.org/
Fibromyalgia: http://www.fmcpaware.org/
 
Photo: pat138241
Published: May 13, 2013